Nothing is better than a cold one after a hard run. Even better if it’s with your running mates. Workout or race, doesn’t matter. A good beer refreshes and puts back all those essential minerals and electrolytes essential to quality athletic performance.
They are an odd couple – running and beer. But a couple they are. Like sex and cigarettes. Or sleep and coffee. What’s important is you do them in the right order, otherwise they don’t mix.
However, some rare people are made to roar and defy nature, to rebel and push against divine order. As Oscar so wildly quipped: “Disobedience is man’s original virtue.” There is no greater rebel without a particular cause than that of the beer miler.
These advanced hominoids defy the gods and hope like Icarus to fly and not to be burnt by the sun. It’s that simple. They race as fast as they can one mile, 4 laps of the track. But for each lap, they have to chug a beer.
Sounds easy, right? Wrong. Go try it. Put on your shorts and tie up your shoes and head out to the local oval with 4 of your favorite beers. Chug one, run 400 meters. Chug another. Run a lap. Chug another. Run a lap. Chug another. Run like hell for the finish line. Bet you aren’t one of the 1% that can do this fast and with pizzazz?
Yes, it is an official event. It even has its own official rules and an official world record. 4:33.6 seconds. Go figure – he’s Canadian, eh? These beer miler idiots can toss back their beer in 6 or 7 seconds and 8 or 9 steps. Boom! The beer must be above 5% alcohol and be in a bottle or can of at least 355 ml (12 ounces) . These beer milers also have iron cast stomachs to go with their crazed fleet of feet. You puke and you have to run a penalty lap after completing four! Note: vomiting more than once during the race still requires only one penalty lap at the end. Beer milers defy the laws of the universe and the normal order of this god sopped world. Cheers to them!
So us Beer Idiots are waiting for your own report on your own beer mile exploits.
Interested in something maybe a little milder to test the running + beer waters? Try the Beer Lovers Marathon. Each of the 15 aid stations has some of the best beers in the world to taste! And unlike the beer mile, you can take your time (up to 6.5 hours), enjoy the scenery and dream about defying them gods that impose their order upon us.
Stay tuned for more beer and sports reports. Forthcoming here on Beer Idiots – the Beer Marathon World Record. Who can run the fastest marathon while drinking a beer each mile? Up for the challenge?
See Beer records – silly, not idiotic for other amazing feats in beer.
